Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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