I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
my being single is dangerous.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Randomize
