no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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