You really coming over, don't trick.
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
