I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize