the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize
