i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
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