Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Randomize
