oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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