I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
