I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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