i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
