i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
