is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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