Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
