im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
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