I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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