The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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