Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Randomize
