just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Randomize
