Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
