Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
she looked like the before picture.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Randomize
