thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
