Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
