Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
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