I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
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