i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
