i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
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