Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
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