The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
What drink are we having for lunch?
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
