So drunk, too bad you don't want this
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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