I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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