sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
