OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
It's blow job season.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
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