If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Randomize
