So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Walk of Shame today included voting.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Randomize
