plz talk dirty to me
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
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