boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
