you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
