Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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