What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize