I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
My bed smells like the plague
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
