My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
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