apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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