your parents love me but you hate me
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Randomize
