How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Randomize
