Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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