now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Randomize
