you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
