You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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