please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
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