Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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