he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize