Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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