i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
