CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Randomize
