apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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