no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
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