i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
i think my cat just said my name.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
