I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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