can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Randomize
