you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
