So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Randomize
