she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
