i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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