I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Just high enough for therapy.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
