i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
