that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Someone came in the potted fern
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
