Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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